Stronger, NOT Skinnier

A midlife reflection on strength, power, and loving the body I worked for.(☑️ Oprima aquí Versión en español )

I tell myself this over and over, like a meditation. A mantra I repeat in my head when things get loud. Now in my 50s, I’m back to exercising hard, eating as well as I can, and actually hitting my protein intake most days. And the amount of supplements in my dedicated cabinet? A bodybuilder would clap out of excitement.

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I enjoy my fitness community. I sleep so much better when I work out. But the truth, the one I usually keep to myself, is that I don’t only work out for fun, strength, or looks. I work out because I’m terrified of becoming frail. I’ve seen what frailty can do. Over the past five years, I’ve witnessed, supported, or cared for a minimum of six  total knee replacement surgeries among four members of my family. It was traumatic. It shook me. And I decided I would do everything in my power to keep my body as STRONG as possible for as LONG as possible.

What Science Says About Strength and Women

And interestingly, science backs up everything I’ve been instinctively fighting for. Research shows that strength training doesn’t only change our bodies. It changes how we feel inside our bodies.

The Women’s Sports & Physical Activity Journal writes:

“Strength training is consistently associated with increases in body satisfaction and physical self-worth in women.”

Another 2025 study found that lifting weights actually reduces the very insecurities we torture ourselves with, noting that resistance training decreases

“appearance-related shame, guilt, envy, and embarrassment while increasing pride.”

And for women in midlife, like me and like so many of us, building muscle is one of the best protections against decline. The Hospital for Special Surgery explains that

“Strength training is one of the most effective ways for women to maintain bone density, joint strength, and quality of life as they age.”

Six Years of Hard Work

So I worked hard. I challenged myself to increase weight. After more than six years of better nutrition, better sleep, consistent exercise, and the wonders of HRT, my fifty-something body is grateful. She’s showing the results of discipline, lifestyle changes, and caring for myself even on the days I didn’t want to. Hell, I can carry real heavy shit without assistance and there’s no can I can’t open. Pun intended.

The Moment Everything Shifted

Then came the first week of November, the event I prepare for every single year. It marks the end of an infinite baseball season and the beginning of a well-deserved break. So this year I worked my ass off, ate the veggies, loaded up on protein, doubled the creatine, and picked the dress. Our Puerto Rican Rat Pack had a wonderful time in the Big Apple.

We took plenty of photos to keep the memories. And then, when the posed pictures came in, I was shocked.

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I didn’t love what I was seeing. I even questioned whether to post the photo. I looked “too strong and muscular.”

A couple of days passed, and it finally dawned on me:

When Are We Going To Stop Judging Ourselves?

Too fat, too thin, too tall, too shiny, too muscular.

When is it finally going to be:

“I look f…ng great!”

And truthfully, some of this harshness isn’t even ours. It’s inherited. Passed down. Conditioned. The cultural “thin ideal,” which has decades of research behind it, explains exactly why so many women react the way I did.

According to the literature:

“The cultural emphasis on thinness continues to shape how women evaluate their bodies, regardless of health or strength.”

So maybe my reaction wasn’t about the photo at all. Maybe it was my old programming fighting the new strength.

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A Final Reflection

I’ve worked hard and don’t need anyone’s reassurance to feel empowered. This isn’t a thirst trap. I’m not fishing for compliments.

This is just a moment of reflection, a reminder to LOVE and celebrate ourselves.

A L W A Y S.

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